that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
