so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
