the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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