so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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