i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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