did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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