I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize