i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
