Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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