One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
