I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
