and i looked up. we had an audience...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
