she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize