dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You're a waste of cheezeits
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
