Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
