He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Still dying that you shit outside
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
