I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
