Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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