Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize