Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
