so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
