Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
