I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
FUCK WHALES
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
