I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
