there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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