if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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