I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
