508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
