I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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