It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
