I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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