She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
