You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
