He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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