I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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