dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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