My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
