no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
This baby is an asshole
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
