May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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