An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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