At least make sure they are 18
Why
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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