I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
