How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
