Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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