I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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