You smell like stripper and shame
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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