your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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