oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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