I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
