why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
