around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize