just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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