dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
