We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
