I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
a search helicopter?!
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
