I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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