i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
