The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Your penis caused this!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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