Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
