Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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