I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
