Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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