I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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