Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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