small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
