My brain says no but my pants say off.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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