Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
being pregnant is like rehab
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
