he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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