You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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