Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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