yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize